Going from one life style to the next is a change that is extremely hard to do. When we live for so long one way and then are forced to change and live another way, life becomes tough.
Even a year ago at this time I was living a completely different life. I had half of the worries that I have now. Also, my life was so stable, nothing ever went wrong. When I look back, I wonder how I ever got any excitement in my life at all! Though, changing to the way I live now was a huge turning point in my life, I believe it evolved me into the person I am turning into and will become.
The security my sister being at home was a magnificent thing. I always had her to turn to and talk to no matter what when I had a hard day. With her being way in Wisconsin at school, I do not have that type of support system anymore. She is so much like me that when I begin to explain how I feel about something she knows exactly what I am talking about. I guess you could say we are "cut from the same cloth".
Also going from a secure relationship that lasted almost three years to wondering if I will meet anyone that I am THAT compatable with is scary. When I lost that relationship I lost a best friend and someone who was always there for me. Though after time, I have though a lot about it and I believe that breaking up taught me a lot and I have learned who I am without someone else. When I have a night that I don't have work or softball all I want to do is relax at home. It would be nice to go back to having someone to relax with, like I used to have. Time is quickly passing and greiving over something I lost is not in my agenda. I believe that everything happens for a reason and we are meant to learn from our losses. Clearly we broke up so that I could learn a very important lesson about independency and life.
Living the life style that I live now is not such a bad thing. I am enjoying it more and more and always try to look at the bright side of things. Learning that I do not need anyone else to complete me, whether it be a boyfriend, a sister or anyone else that I feel is my "other half" I am happy being who I am, by myself, and learning the lessons taught by life itself.
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Yeah all you need is yourself! No one can feel happiness for you. All of us love you Chels kels! And really the odds are in your favor to find someone in this overpopulated world! And you got college ahead of ya and that will change a lot. Good post though, its nice to hear some realness.
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